So big and so small simultaneously

Friday 21st og March 2020 Right here and right now, our world is crumbling. When I look out the window, everything looks as usual. The birds sing, nature pops out in the color of hope, and the bright sun has just begun to show us its beautiful bright face. But nothing is as usual. We have been hit by something simultaneously so big and so small. So globally big that it has hit you whether you are in Asia, Australia, USA or Europe... Off course there has been catastrophes, earthquakes, tidal waves, wild fires, illnesses but this... It’s unprecedented. It's so quiet outside that I can hear my own heart beating. And it beats faster than it usually does, because my worries are all lined up. Ready to send me spiraling. Excessive thoughts, overthinking and overworrying provides me with insecurity and mess up my top floor. I take a sip of my coffee as I look up into the sun, somehow I feel its warmth on my forehead as a reassuring sensation, I will still come on shining down on you. Normally I have the usual mess in the corners on the top floor, but when I can't see the end of what's happening outside in the world right now - in our world, then I get scared, it is mostly rational but sometimes even the in rational kicks in. It's hard not to wonder what this is going to mean to the future, to society, to people and to me and to my loved ones, economy and the sanity of the world. It's easy for people to say: Don't worry because then you'll be engulfed with chaos and panic. Look at it logically and rationally. I am trying. I'm really trying to do just that. But they do not necessarily know the consequences of being chronically ill right here and now. If we stick a finger in the ground and notice, you know really notice. Does anyone really know? What would be the consequences if I got infected? If you got infected? We have not been in this situation before. The world has received a wake-up call. But do we listen. Our ancestors went to war, I lay resting on my bed, as I do after a few hours on wheels, my everyday has not changed that much. We always have hand sanitizer on the sink, because my autoimmune illnesses include the ability to self infect with sepsis, and after three visits to the ICU, whereof the two were touch and go, I cannot afford another close dance with death, the ripples take unimaginable toll on the entire family. This time it’s not just me I am afraid on behalf of, it’s my husband, my children, our entire extended family. The son in Stockholm, the daughter who is a nurse, the husband with his Sarcoidosis experiences, high leveling stress etc. the neighbor with the bad heart... everyone. The truth is we do not know. I genuinely hope we learn from all these new words we are learning, social distancing, flatten the curve, hand sanitizer, I hope you take this to heart so when things get better and we still have the annual season of flu, you stay at home when you are ill, and take the health of others into consideration instead of your own fear of missing out. I hope you use your newly found wisdom to shop locally and support your community, I hope you respect nature, and people around you because, I do believe that this is genuinely the largest hint with a carriage bar we will ever get and hopefully live to tell about it.

The last days ‘touring’ the reservation cashed in this morning, the simple task of fixing breakfast and tea to go for my love took ressources, I had a hard time mobilizing. It made me think of a quote, I reread yesterday. That we are all living organisms, but somehow we do not seem to realize just how fragile we are. Taking the abilities of our bodies for granted. I continued to think about how precious human life is and how we all continue to take it for granted. “Every minute someone leaves this world behind. We are all in the “the line” without knowing it. We never know how many people are before us. We can not move to the back of the line. We can not step out of the line. We can not avoid the line. So while we wait in the line… Make moments count. Make priorities. Make the time. Make your gifts known. Make a nobody feel like a somebody. Make your voice heard. Make the small things big. Make someone smile. Make the change. Make love. Make up. Make peace. Make sure to tell your people they are loved. Make sure to have no regrets. Make sure you are ready. The world will often make you wish, you had just 5 more minutes.” I do not know the origin of the quote that surfaced a few years ago but I reread a translated version yesterday and it still gave me chills reading this because of it’s simplicity and profound truths. People are not only taking their lives for granted they are also scared to change their lives or afraid of being their true selves. Travel the world, physically or mentally, take risks, express emotion, fall in love, be vulnerable, it is the only way you are going to get the full life experience before your time is up. Today I want to encourage you to do a couple of those thoughts in the above quote. Go out of your way to make someone smile, make love, make peace and more importantly love life. Remember, you never know when you are next in line. #Gratitude #NeverTakeAbilitiesForGranted #NeverTakeLifeForGranted